My Year on Match.com

I have mentioned here and there about the fact that I was on match.com. I spent the better part of a year on and off. I have decided to stay off at this point. It just didn't really work for me. I am the type of person who works off a spark, I found it hard to find that spark on match, correction I find it hard to find that spark over a computer, I can't blame it on match.com specifically. During that year I went out with probably a dozen guys. Very few made it to or past a second date. In fact I don't think I went on more the 2 dates with anyone. Although I will say that is not odd. If I know I am not vibing with someone whether I was set up with them, met them in person, or online I don't take it past a second date.

A couple of single people have asked me about it, and whether they should join or not. My response is always you have to put the time into it. If you want to join and then just hope that tons of guys are going to contact you that won't happened. What I learned is the more active you are, the closer to the front match lists your profile. So you have to be on there searching for people/e-mailing/winking. Otherwise your profile will get pushed to the back of the search engine.

You also have to be okay with rejection. You may wink/or e-mail with someone and they are going to not pursue it based solely on the pictures you have. The hard part of this is in person you can kind of tell why, if you are not their type, or whatnot. Online it seems a little more ouchy when someone rejects or ignores you. If you are someone who is even slightly insecure really think about if you are okay with that.

You also have to be outgoing. One of my pet peeves was when someone would contact me, than basically have nothing to say other than I like your profile. Come one people learn to small talk online. If you are just ehhh about someone based on e-mails and phone conversations don't expect to wowed by a great personality in person. Likely if someone can't keep up a phone conversation they can't keep up a conversation in person either.

You are still going to meet the guy online who only wants to get laid. Being online is pretty much the same as being in a bar these days. Those kind of guys are still looking for only one thing. So if you are going to sleep with someone on the first date at least make him pay HA. I say this because on first match dates I would offer to split the tab a lot, especially if I knew I was not interested. The guy who you are into and really like and is giving you match-hope. If he takes your money, that's a red flag this guy is not relationship material. He is looking for one thing.