Someone is NOT happy

You better listen up, J.Crew.

You better shut the hell up and listen to what I’m about to say.

What in the FUCK are these pants? No, seriously, I’m asking you a question. WHAT. In the FUCK. Are those PANTS. Are they leggings? Are they sweatpants? Are they only meant to be worn indoors? If so, fine. But if the answer to any of those questions is “no,” then you have got some SERIOUS FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO. Because those pants make the model, whose ass is likely 1/1000000th the size of mine, look like she is wearing a goddamn diaper. A DIAPER, J.CREW. Do you hear what I am saying? YOU ARE MAKING CLOTHES THAT GIVE THE ILLUSION THAT THE WEARER IS INCONTINENT AND THEREFORE HAS TO WEAR DEPENDS.

And also? Who on god’s green fucking earth would wear those with heels? HEELS!? If someone is going to wear a pair of pants that makes even A MODEL’S LEGS look like motherfucking drumsticks from KFC, then they SURE AS SHIT are not going to be wearing them with goddamn heels. They are going to be wearing them with flip flops from 2002 that they picked up for free when they left a fraternity house on a Saturday morning in college, or maybe, JUST MAYBE, that they purchased at Old Navy for $1.99 AT THE VERY MOST, and these flip flops are NOT going to be doing any favors to their backside, but that is going to be okay with them because IF YOU ARE WEARING THESE PANTS YOU HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOUR ASS.

We used to be friends, J.Crew. We used to have really great times together. I used to peruse your sale section and find things that I actually wanted to purchase and bring into my home at a modest discount. Now I flip through your sale pages and see nothing but a bunch of oversized costume jewelry too gauche for a Liza Minnelli drag queen impersonator, NINE THOUSAND VERSIONS of the exact same striped shirt, and two pairs of grey windsocks that you took off of a car at a tailgate, sewed together, and decided to market as “pants.” But these are not pants, J.Crew. These are an EMBARRASSMENT. Get back to your ballet flats and your perfect fit Ts and your skirt suits and let’s just CALL IT A MOTHERFUCKING DAY.

Filed under Full Disclosure: I wrote this post at 1am Thank god my brief is due tomorrow.
That HILARIOUS rant was brought to us by Julia over at www.fullcredit.tumblr.com. I posted it because I thought it was hilarious, but after further inspection of the picture, I do really think that model is a MAN. Or has man arms, I mean there is nothing flattering about those pants, or that picture. I thought Jcrew had gone too far with sequined harem pants. But then I thought, oh maybe only because I have a big but and wouldn't want to wrap it in a the equivalent of a sparkly diaper (not it's best look really), and create a sparkly camel toe. Maybe people with pancake asses would love the shine, and the bunched up fabric would add dimension for them????? But no, Julia is right, Jcrew has gone a little far these days. No one needs to look like this.

Admittedly

I'm not the most prolific cook. I have a dozen or so key dishes that I love and rotate, as not to get bored. I have cooked a full Holiday meal for the family on my own. I can put together a full dinner party if I want to, and follow a recipe to completion and satisfaction. What I don't understand is when I am reading other blogs like www.ramshackleglam.com or www.cupcakesandcashmere.com, the things they make. Their full on meals, or quick recipes tips I get. But really who needs/wants to make their own granola, or graham crackers, or THIN MINTS for the love of the lord. I mean clearly these ladies are into cooking (and especially baking) more than I am. But the really a thin mint, you need your own recipe for that. And Granola there are so many healthy all natural, options out there. Why are you wasting the time making your own. There is no way it is more economical than the box at Trader Joe's.

PS: I'm coooking dinner right now, a marinated chicken breast and baked potato.

Style Crush

A Breezy day by lake. How cute am I (this isn't me, this is a pic of what I want my new spring style to be)

Jeans and a black top never looked so cute as they do with big jeweled earing and patented blue shoes.

This is a potential Easter look I would like to rock, teal green jewels and Violet dress.

Warriors - Come out and play!!!

Big things happening tommorrow for TN'L nephew G-Diddy!

Wish I could be there to cheer him on  but we're sending all our love.

This  kind of seemed appropiate in a not-very-appropiate way



I have a Lady Crush on Diane Von Furstenberg

I have a serious Lady crush on Diane Von Furstenberg. Not only because I look good in a wrap dress (which I do, I really really do), but becuase she is powerful without being hard. She is stylish without being stuffy or imposing of her style. She seems like a chick I would want to hang out with, driven, successful, soulful, family-oriented, and seemingly unflappable. Below are her rules to live by.

Diane’s 10 Rules to Live by (from Elle Magazine)

* Trust yourself. “The secret to feeling attractive, and to being attractive, is the confidence that comes from knowing who you are and what you believe in.”

* Accept the passage of time. “The older you get, the more you should learn to love life and appreciate the beauty that comes with age.”

* Document your days. “Carry a camera and create an inspiring visual diary of your life.”

* Your suitcase symbolizes your life. “The best way to know a woman is to open her luggage. If she knows how to pack well, it means she understands , and cherishes, how to live a simplified life.”

* Fashionable friends. “Choose fashions that make you happy. I hope the clothes I design will become my clients’ best friends. That way, when they open their closets, they will always encounter someone special.”

* Dress your personality. “Always choose styles that also accentuate your personality. Don’t use fashion to try and project a different persona. Authenticity is key.”

* Use your feminine power. “My mother taught me that being a woman is a privilege because the world revolves around us! It is a precious gift, and its power should be used in a subtle and respectful way.”

* Your handbag is your guide. “Before leaving home, check your agenda and organize your bag according to what you have to do that day. Keeping everything in order makes life easier.”

* Indulge yourself. “If you are like me, and don’t want to resort to Botox, book regular massages. I’m sure it helps to keep everything firm and in it’s place!”

* Lead a balanced life. “The best regimen is to keep moving! Never stop working, travelling and seeking adventure. Drink plenty of water, limit alcohol and sugar and get to your yoga class!”

Diane has floor to ceiling bookshelves! With library ladders! As if I could worship her more!!!!

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

On Match.com, that's what you have to do. You definitely select the best pictures of yourself. Not just standing there either you are creating a picture profile of yourself. That picture profile is more important infact than the things you write about yourself.

I ask you then, why oh why would someone post THIS



There are so many things wrong with the dudes in this picture I don't even know where to start. But I will. Let's start with the guy on the left.

Spray tanned? Sleeveless WAAAAAY too unbuttoned shirt, Stylish(?!?!?!)double leather strand necklaces. Hat on a day that didn't even require sleeves on your shirt? Stubble, whilst sporting a waxed chest. It's a look buddy, just not mine.

Guy on the Right:

Tiger graphic tee, who do you think you are Charlie Sheen. The hair. Women printed buttondown.

What do you think either of these guys are trying to portray about themselves in this picture. Other than they are an odd couple, and open to the idea of people who are different from themselves, because they also seem like an unlikely pair. I have to say if this is an example of the best that is to come with either of these guys, I don't want to see the worst.

Nine Years Ago

I was on a beach in Hawaii, in a beautiful black dress (my favorite dress of all time) crying........

Tears of Joy because Tizzy was marrying the Husby!!!!! Yup that's right today is Tizzy and Husby's 9th anniversary. It seems like yesterday we were in paradise with our friends and family laughing, dancing, and toasting the love between these two great people. We had the big Kahuna, driving the Kahuna Schooner, with his little tuna sitting passenger, loving Charo. The post wedding dinner took place next to a nice little lagoona.

There were some serious competitions, the Mr's Lambe were driving the naughty neon, challenging each other to a week-long mini-golf competition on the roof of their hotel before we went out each night. My dad was challenging stylish older sisters husband to an underwater swimming competition. Her was feeling seriously challenged by the amount of pineapple served with everything. And we were slightly challenged by car troubles on the road to Hanna (sp?)

That week was filled with so many great times and memories. But the reason for it all was the love the Tizzy and the Husby share. It was obvious 9 years ago, and is still glaringly obvious today. Congrats Tizzy!!!

Ring-a-ding

Peta approved ring holders. I mean how adorable. Those crystal dishes were getting a little old.

Psssttttt Tizzy

Next time I'm in NY can we stop by the Limelight Marketplace for some of these?